One small step for Sam the man , one giant step for mankind, or is that major Tom can you hear me major Tom.(I had to put that in as a pay off to my son.)
Oh no we've just landed on the moon it’s the sixties and I can see mars spurting out green luminous jets of gas like, well just like the other day, (try August 29th) on top of all this the night times just a jungle green and a barking M-16, I might have to go and hit some Hong Kong matters all night long.
Now that the treads of nothingness have brought me to this point in time and the only connection I can see is green.(Just on the side you know it's not easy being green just ask the little green guy and good luck if you can get anything out of him.)
Now I need some help, (do you think!) I've just planted some radishes and bugger me if snails like them as much as me. I need to know if a snail eats a radish and it farts what will it smell like and will the escargot taste like radish. What happens when a snail eats escargot would it then have garlic breath and then have to pop over the other side of the tub and eat some parsley? Maybe as a punishment for its refined taste its peers will shun and despise it and then throw mangos and anchovies and orang-utans and so forth at it and then count to three and chuck it. What a life it would lead lurking in the shadows eating by night, sleeping by day, hang on a minute I do this every couple of weeks, sh_t I'm a snail, no I'm a tea pot, I'm a tea pot.
This is NASA control Pasadena beep beep beep can you hear me, come in, come in can any one hear me.
Just letting you know snails are green, radishes are green the snail bait is green as well as the jungle and the flat little green guy it's all green.
Thursday, September 6, 2007
Sept 5th
The dodo has been sighted, quick call Charles, send a pigeon out to the beagle not inscribed on a coconut other wise there will have to be two of them with a vine of course. While Charles is here he may be able to solve a few other mysteries around here such as the elephant that thinks he can fly a giraffe with nice legs and not to mention pigeons, bears with a fixation with picnic baskets and the little green man.
As we have gone off food, mmm mangos, and onto animals the dodo has informed me (yes he can talk and this time it isn’t the voices in my head) that he has a little mate. This mate is a small dog with on hair (god defiantly come up short on that day) and therefore has to cruse around with a little coat on. Well bugger me how are you supposed to pick up chicks with a poofy coat on, Charles will defiantly have to look in to this one. I hope he brings some mangos from his tropical oases.
The bears have buggered off, the elephant and giraffe have returned and I've put them to work cleaning up the little green guy who is clearly worst for wear and I'm having trouble getting much out of him. As in the past the elephant is having trouble with the broom and shovel on the account of having on hands and he's still cursing.
I did have something to say about our flightless friend the dodo but my memory escapes me and the thought seems to have gone the way of the dog coat and disappeared down a hole.
I might go and investigate and then move to the country and grow me a lot of peaches or at least find some.
As we have gone off food, mmm mangos, and onto animals the dodo has informed me (yes he can talk and this time it isn’t the voices in my head) that he has a little mate. This mate is a small dog with on hair (god defiantly come up short on that day) and therefore has to cruse around with a little coat on. Well bugger me how are you supposed to pick up chicks with a poofy coat on, Charles will defiantly have to look in to this one. I hope he brings some mangos from his tropical oases.
The bears have buggered off, the elephant and giraffe have returned and I've put them to work cleaning up the little green guy who is clearly worst for wear and I'm having trouble getting much out of him. As in the past the elephant is having trouble with the broom and shovel on the account of having on hands and he's still cursing.
I did have something to say about our flightless friend the dodo but my memory escapes me and the thought seems to have gone the way of the dog coat and disappeared down a hole.
I might go and investigate and then move to the country and grow me a lot of peaches or at least find some.
Sept 4th
After a brief interlude we're back and we have just been joined by a bear carrying a picnic basket telling me that he's smarter than the average bear and his short side kick.
Oh sh_t look what the appearance of these two walking carpets has gone and done. The pachyderm has just stampeded off whilst being ridden by the giraffe looking rather much like Mick Jagger after he's forgotten to take his riddlen.
They've just broken down the door and unfortunately the little green guy due to his short legs not being able to take large strides has just gone the way of the cat and is now some what thinner than normal. That is if anything around here can be called normal.
Just as a side note you may notice my mailing list is some what shorter than usual. Well it seems some of us higher up are feeling a little stressed and no amount of cheer is able to alleviate this condition, so for the sake of self preservation the recipients of this communiqué are limited to a few of you of the humorous disposition.
Mind you some of you have gone the way of the dodo and disappeared, taking their computer with them. Though I do wounder how a fat, flightless bird with a bid hooter can carry the computer and screen. Maybe there were two of them and they used a vine attached under the dorsal wings.
Maybe the dodo has found new interest in sawdust and the like.
Oh sh_t look what the appearance of these two walking carpets has gone and done. The pachyderm has just stampeded off whilst being ridden by the giraffe looking rather much like Mick Jagger after he's forgotten to take his riddlen.
They've just broken down the door and unfortunately the little green guy due to his short legs not being able to take large strides has just gone the way of the cat and is now some what thinner than normal. That is if anything around here can be called normal.
Just as a side note you may notice my mailing list is some what shorter than usual. Well it seems some of us higher up are feeling a little stressed and no amount of cheer is able to alleviate this condition, so for the sake of self preservation the recipients of this communiqué are limited to a few of you of the humorous disposition.
Mind you some of you have gone the way of the dodo and disappeared, taking their computer with them. Though I do wounder how a fat, flightless bird with a bid hooter can carry the computer and screen. Maybe there were two of them and they used a vine attached under the dorsal wings.
Maybe the dodo has found new interest in sawdust and the like.
August 29th
We still have to investigate that force stuff as for three it will have to wait. The little green men are coming, they'll drink, be merry and take our lady folk and and!
No one would have believed in the first years of the twenty-first century that human affairs were being watched from the timeless world of space. No one could have dreamed we were being scrutinized, as someone with a microscope studies creatures that swarm and multiply in a drop of water. Few of us even consider the possibility of life on other planets and yet across the gulf of space, minds immeasurably superior to ours regard this earth with envious eyes, and slowly and surely they draw their plans against us.
Tonight was a turning point in our short lives, as the earth is bathed in a red huge of the moon as it hangs serenely in the night sky this we are told is a lunar eclipse.
Unknown to most of us including myself (except the elephant he's big therefore must have a big brain and therefore must be smart.) the red huge was not from the affects of the eclipse but rather from the huge mass of luminous gas erupting from mars that as we speak (well write at least) is hurtling towards are lonely planet. This doesn’t quite explain the red huge as maybe it should have been green but on the other hand the moon may have gone out in sympathy for mars.
Bugger there's a little green guy at the door, quick turn off the lights hide under the table if we are really quiet he might go away. I wonder if he's got some of that force stuff.
No one would have believed in the first years of the twenty-first century that human affairs were being watched from the timeless world of space. No one could have dreamed we were being scrutinized, as someone with a microscope studies creatures that swarm and multiply in a drop of water. Few of us even consider the possibility of life on other planets and yet across the gulf of space, minds immeasurably superior to ours regard this earth with envious eyes, and slowly and surely they draw their plans against us.
Tonight was a turning point in our short lives, as the earth is bathed in a red huge of the moon as it hangs serenely in the night sky this we are told is a lunar eclipse.
Unknown to most of us including myself (except the elephant he's big therefore must have a big brain and therefore must be smart.) the red huge was not from the affects of the eclipse but rather from the huge mass of luminous gas erupting from mars that as we speak (well write at least) is hurtling towards are lonely planet. This doesn’t quite explain the red huge as maybe it should have been green but on the other hand the moon may have gone out in sympathy for mars.
Bugger there's a little green guy at the door, quick turn off the lights hide under the table if we are really quiet he might go away. I wonder if he's got some of that force stuff.
August 30th
We best clear up a few things to eliminate any confusion on were we stand. This force stuff, well frankly my dear I don’t give a dam, I don’t know and more to the point I've got more pressing things on my mind, such as the elephant and giraffe who have joined me under the table to escape the little green guy.
This is an awkward and most distressing situation I find myself in. Needless to say there's a perfectly good explanation to which I'll fill you in as best as I can ascertain.
Yesterday the moon turned red, a little green guy showed up at my door, thus exciting the elephant and giraffe who appeared from out of thin air who then thought it would be a good idea to join me under the table. (So much for the big elephant, big brain theory.)
At preset I'm developing a headache not because the giraffe is giving me the eyes; rather the elephant and his constant ear flapping (maybe he's about to take off) are driving me batty. As for the giraffe well those legs, most of us like long legs but there's a time and a place for everything and this is neither, you try getting under a table with an elephant and giraffe and see how much room you have.
Well I must do something now as the little green guy seems to becoming agitated; I feel he's in leagues with the hated jerry's. I must send a worthy envoy to negotiate our release, elephant your up and take your mate the deformed giraffe.
This is an awkward and most distressing situation I find myself in. Needless to say there's a perfectly good explanation to which I'll fill you in as best as I can ascertain.
Yesterday the moon turned red, a little green guy showed up at my door, thus exciting the elephant and giraffe who appeared from out of thin air who then thought it would be a good idea to join me under the table. (So much for the big elephant, big brain theory.)
At preset I'm developing a headache not because the giraffe is giving me the eyes; rather the elephant and his constant ear flapping (maybe he's about to take off) are driving me batty. As for the giraffe well those legs, most of us like long legs but there's a time and a place for everything and this is neither, you try getting under a table with an elephant and giraffe and see how much room you have.
Well I must do something now as the little green guy seems to becoming agitated; I feel he's in leagues with the hated jerry's. I must send a worthy envoy to negotiate our release, elephant your up and take your mate the deformed giraffe.
August 28th
BANG!
What was that? Was it the big bang or maybe one of the three apocalyptic bangs to finish us all, elephant and giraffe included. It could have been one of the three bangs of Christmas past, seen as its onset is early this fiscal year. I think it was only a local bang, boiler, treatment plant or operator. What will go bang first? The boiler has a good head of steam so it could go bang. The treatment plant does what it likes and just goes bang as for the operator he's on another planet with the crew of the Enterprise maybe going bang with the mystic chick. The Enterprise must have severed its bonds to this third from the sun.
Three may need further investigation as it seems to be making a coincidental appearance throughout history and the past few lines. We will have to get our secret service agent onto the case; he can go looking for the giraffe at the same time.
What was that? Was it the big bang or maybe one of the three apocalyptic bangs to finish us all, elephant and giraffe included. It could have been one of the three bangs of Christmas past, seen as its onset is early this fiscal year. I think it was only a local bang, boiler, treatment plant or operator. What will go bang first? The boiler has a good head of steam so it could go bang. The treatment plant does what it likes and just goes bang as for the operator he's on another planet with the crew of the Enterprise maybe going bang with the mystic chick. The Enterprise must have severed its bonds to this third from the sun.
Three may need further investigation as it seems to be making a coincidental appearance throughout history and the past few lines. We will have to get our secret service agent onto the case; he can go looking for the giraffe at the same time.
August 27th
It’s a good night and the boiler is running hot, its making that much steam that I reckon it would exceed the total annual out put of Spring Field nuclear power plant or maybe it’s the force.
What happened to spider pig? We asked this question back on the 24th and as yet have had no replies. The elephant has a theory that seems to be tied into this mystical force stuff. A day or two ago the elephant saw spider pig talking to a shadowy figure; he was very short, green and had big ears. (No it wasn’t the cat though the affects of being stepped on by an elephant can give a similar appearance.) This figure was heard to uttered in a gravely voice "Strong in this one the force is". What the hell is this force stuff and has the pig got some and were did the green guy come from?
I feel it's all tied up with that nuclear power plant and the Enterprise as it seems to keep coming back, maybe it is tethered to this rock.
If an elephant steps on a cat do you get cat pâté? (Food again, I'd much rather mangos.)
What happened to spider pig? We asked this question back on the 24th and as yet have had no replies. The elephant has a theory that seems to be tied into this mystical force stuff. A day or two ago the elephant saw spider pig talking to a shadowy figure; he was very short, green and had big ears. (No it wasn’t the cat though the affects of being stepped on by an elephant can give a similar appearance.) This figure was heard to uttered in a gravely voice "Strong in this one the force is". What the hell is this force stuff and has the pig got some and were did the green guy come from?
I feel it's all tied up with that nuclear power plant and the Enterprise as it seems to keep coming back, maybe it is tethered to this rock.
If an elephant steps on a cat do you get cat pâté? (Food again, I'd much rather mangos.)
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