One small step for Sam the man , one giant step for mankind, or is that major Tom can you hear me major Tom.(I had to put that in as a pay off to my son.)
Oh no we've just landed on the moon it’s the sixties and I can see mars spurting out green luminous jets of gas like, well just like the other day, (try August 29th) on top of all this the night times just a jungle green and a barking M-16, I might have to go and hit some Hong Kong matters all night long.
Now that the treads of nothingness have brought me to this point in time and the only connection I can see is green.(Just on the side you know it's not easy being green just ask the little green guy and good luck if you can get anything out of him.)
Now I need some help, (do you think!) I've just planted some radishes and bugger me if snails like them as much as me. I need to know if a snail eats a radish and it farts what will it smell like and will the escargot taste like radish. What happens when a snail eats escargot would it then have garlic breath and then have to pop over the other side of the tub and eat some parsley? Maybe as a punishment for its refined taste its peers will shun and despise it and then throw mangos and anchovies and orang-utans and so forth at it and then count to three and chuck it. What a life it would lead lurking in the shadows eating by night, sleeping by day, hang on a minute I do this every couple of weeks, sh_t I'm a snail, no I'm a tea pot, I'm a tea pot.
This is NASA control Pasadena beep beep beep can you hear me, come in, come in can any one hear me.
Just letting you know snails are green, radishes are green the snail bait is green as well as the jungle and the flat little green guy it's all green.
Thursday, September 6, 2007
Sept 5th
The dodo has been sighted, quick call Charles, send a pigeon out to the beagle not inscribed on a coconut other wise there will have to be two of them with a vine of course. While Charles is here he may be able to solve a few other mysteries around here such as the elephant that thinks he can fly a giraffe with nice legs and not to mention pigeons, bears with a fixation with picnic baskets and the little green man.
As we have gone off food, mmm mangos, and onto animals the dodo has informed me (yes he can talk and this time it isn’t the voices in my head) that he has a little mate. This mate is a small dog with on hair (god defiantly come up short on that day) and therefore has to cruse around with a little coat on. Well bugger me how are you supposed to pick up chicks with a poofy coat on, Charles will defiantly have to look in to this one. I hope he brings some mangos from his tropical oases.
The bears have buggered off, the elephant and giraffe have returned and I've put them to work cleaning up the little green guy who is clearly worst for wear and I'm having trouble getting much out of him. As in the past the elephant is having trouble with the broom and shovel on the account of having on hands and he's still cursing.
I did have something to say about our flightless friend the dodo but my memory escapes me and the thought seems to have gone the way of the dog coat and disappeared down a hole.
I might go and investigate and then move to the country and grow me a lot of peaches or at least find some.
As we have gone off food, mmm mangos, and onto animals the dodo has informed me (yes he can talk and this time it isn’t the voices in my head) that he has a little mate. This mate is a small dog with on hair (god defiantly come up short on that day) and therefore has to cruse around with a little coat on. Well bugger me how are you supposed to pick up chicks with a poofy coat on, Charles will defiantly have to look in to this one. I hope he brings some mangos from his tropical oases.
The bears have buggered off, the elephant and giraffe have returned and I've put them to work cleaning up the little green guy who is clearly worst for wear and I'm having trouble getting much out of him. As in the past the elephant is having trouble with the broom and shovel on the account of having on hands and he's still cursing.
I did have something to say about our flightless friend the dodo but my memory escapes me and the thought seems to have gone the way of the dog coat and disappeared down a hole.
I might go and investigate and then move to the country and grow me a lot of peaches or at least find some.
Sept 4th
After a brief interlude we're back and we have just been joined by a bear carrying a picnic basket telling me that he's smarter than the average bear and his short side kick.
Oh sh_t look what the appearance of these two walking carpets has gone and done. The pachyderm has just stampeded off whilst being ridden by the giraffe looking rather much like Mick Jagger after he's forgotten to take his riddlen.
They've just broken down the door and unfortunately the little green guy due to his short legs not being able to take large strides has just gone the way of the cat and is now some what thinner than normal. That is if anything around here can be called normal.
Just as a side note you may notice my mailing list is some what shorter than usual. Well it seems some of us higher up are feeling a little stressed and no amount of cheer is able to alleviate this condition, so for the sake of self preservation the recipients of this communiqué are limited to a few of you of the humorous disposition.
Mind you some of you have gone the way of the dodo and disappeared, taking their computer with them. Though I do wounder how a fat, flightless bird with a bid hooter can carry the computer and screen. Maybe there were two of them and they used a vine attached under the dorsal wings.
Maybe the dodo has found new interest in sawdust and the like.
Oh sh_t look what the appearance of these two walking carpets has gone and done. The pachyderm has just stampeded off whilst being ridden by the giraffe looking rather much like Mick Jagger after he's forgotten to take his riddlen.
They've just broken down the door and unfortunately the little green guy due to his short legs not being able to take large strides has just gone the way of the cat and is now some what thinner than normal. That is if anything around here can be called normal.
Just as a side note you may notice my mailing list is some what shorter than usual. Well it seems some of us higher up are feeling a little stressed and no amount of cheer is able to alleviate this condition, so for the sake of self preservation the recipients of this communiqué are limited to a few of you of the humorous disposition.
Mind you some of you have gone the way of the dodo and disappeared, taking their computer with them. Though I do wounder how a fat, flightless bird with a bid hooter can carry the computer and screen. Maybe there were two of them and they used a vine attached under the dorsal wings.
Maybe the dodo has found new interest in sawdust and the like.
August 29th
We still have to investigate that force stuff as for three it will have to wait. The little green men are coming, they'll drink, be merry and take our lady folk and and!
No one would have believed in the first years of the twenty-first century that human affairs were being watched from the timeless world of space. No one could have dreamed we were being scrutinized, as someone with a microscope studies creatures that swarm and multiply in a drop of water. Few of us even consider the possibility of life on other planets and yet across the gulf of space, minds immeasurably superior to ours regard this earth with envious eyes, and slowly and surely they draw their plans against us.
Tonight was a turning point in our short lives, as the earth is bathed in a red huge of the moon as it hangs serenely in the night sky this we are told is a lunar eclipse.
Unknown to most of us including myself (except the elephant he's big therefore must have a big brain and therefore must be smart.) the red huge was not from the affects of the eclipse but rather from the huge mass of luminous gas erupting from mars that as we speak (well write at least) is hurtling towards are lonely planet. This doesn’t quite explain the red huge as maybe it should have been green but on the other hand the moon may have gone out in sympathy for mars.
Bugger there's a little green guy at the door, quick turn off the lights hide under the table if we are really quiet he might go away. I wonder if he's got some of that force stuff.
No one would have believed in the first years of the twenty-first century that human affairs were being watched from the timeless world of space. No one could have dreamed we were being scrutinized, as someone with a microscope studies creatures that swarm and multiply in a drop of water. Few of us even consider the possibility of life on other planets and yet across the gulf of space, minds immeasurably superior to ours regard this earth with envious eyes, and slowly and surely they draw their plans against us.
Tonight was a turning point in our short lives, as the earth is bathed in a red huge of the moon as it hangs serenely in the night sky this we are told is a lunar eclipse.
Unknown to most of us including myself (except the elephant he's big therefore must have a big brain and therefore must be smart.) the red huge was not from the affects of the eclipse but rather from the huge mass of luminous gas erupting from mars that as we speak (well write at least) is hurtling towards are lonely planet. This doesn’t quite explain the red huge as maybe it should have been green but on the other hand the moon may have gone out in sympathy for mars.
Bugger there's a little green guy at the door, quick turn off the lights hide under the table if we are really quiet he might go away. I wonder if he's got some of that force stuff.
August 30th
We best clear up a few things to eliminate any confusion on were we stand. This force stuff, well frankly my dear I don’t give a dam, I don’t know and more to the point I've got more pressing things on my mind, such as the elephant and giraffe who have joined me under the table to escape the little green guy.
This is an awkward and most distressing situation I find myself in. Needless to say there's a perfectly good explanation to which I'll fill you in as best as I can ascertain.
Yesterday the moon turned red, a little green guy showed up at my door, thus exciting the elephant and giraffe who appeared from out of thin air who then thought it would be a good idea to join me under the table. (So much for the big elephant, big brain theory.)
At preset I'm developing a headache not because the giraffe is giving me the eyes; rather the elephant and his constant ear flapping (maybe he's about to take off) are driving me batty. As for the giraffe well those legs, most of us like long legs but there's a time and a place for everything and this is neither, you try getting under a table with an elephant and giraffe and see how much room you have.
Well I must do something now as the little green guy seems to becoming agitated; I feel he's in leagues with the hated jerry's. I must send a worthy envoy to negotiate our release, elephant your up and take your mate the deformed giraffe.
This is an awkward and most distressing situation I find myself in. Needless to say there's a perfectly good explanation to which I'll fill you in as best as I can ascertain.
Yesterday the moon turned red, a little green guy showed up at my door, thus exciting the elephant and giraffe who appeared from out of thin air who then thought it would be a good idea to join me under the table. (So much for the big elephant, big brain theory.)
At preset I'm developing a headache not because the giraffe is giving me the eyes; rather the elephant and his constant ear flapping (maybe he's about to take off) are driving me batty. As for the giraffe well those legs, most of us like long legs but there's a time and a place for everything and this is neither, you try getting under a table with an elephant and giraffe and see how much room you have.
Well I must do something now as the little green guy seems to becoming agitated; I feel he's in leagues with the hated jerry's. I must send a worthy envoy to negotiate our release, elephant your up and take your mate the deformed giraffe.
August 28th
BANG!
What was that? Was it the big bang or maybe one of the three apocalyptic bangs to finish us all, elephant and giraffe included. It could have been one of the three bangs of Christmas past, seen as its onset is early this fiscal year. I think it was only a local bang, boiler, treatment plant or operator. What will go bang first? The boiler has a good head of steam so it could go bang. The treatment plant does what it likes and just goes bang as for the operator he's on another planet with the crew of the Enterprise maybe going bang with the mystic chick. The Enterprise must have severed its bonds to this third from the sun.
Three may need further investigation as it seems to be making a coincidental appearance throughout history and the past few lines. We will have to get our secret service agent onto the case; he can go looking for the giraffe at the same time.
What was that? Was it the big bang or maybe one of the three apocalyptic bangs to finish us all, elephant and giraffe included. It could have been one of the three bangs of Christmas past, seen as its onset is early this fiscal year. I think it was only a local bang, boiler, treatment plant or operator. What will go bang first? The boiler has a good head of steam so it could go bang. The treatment plant does what it likes and just goes bang as for the operator he's on another planet with the crew of the Enterprise maybe going bang with the mystic chick. The Enterprise must have severed its bonds to this third from the sun.
Three may need further investigation as it seems to be making a coincidental appearance throughout history and the past few lines. We will have to get our secret service agent onto the case; he can go looking for the giraffe at the same time.
August 27th
It’s a good night and the boiler is running hot, its making that much steam that I reckon it would exceed the total annual out put of Spring Field nuclear power plant or maybe it’s the force.
What happened to spider pig? We asked this question back on the 24th and as yet have had no replies. The elephant has a theory that seems to be tied into this mystical force stuff. A day or two ago the elephant saw spider pig talking to a shadowy figure; he was very short, green and had big ears. (No it wasn’t the cat though the affects of being stepped on by an elephant can give a similar appearance.) This figure was heard to uttered in a gravely voice "Strong in this one the force is". What the hell is this force stuff and has the pig got some and were did the green guy come from?
I feel it's all tied up with that nuclear power plant and the Enterprise as it seems to keep coming back, maybe it is tethered to this rock.
If an elephant steps on a cat do you get cat pâté? (Food again, I'd much rather mangos.)
What happened to spider pig? We asked this question back on the 24th and as yet have had no replies. The elephant has a theory that seems to be tied into this mystical force stuff. A day or two ago the elephant saw spider pig talking to a shadowy figure; he was very short, green and had big ears. (No it wasn’t the cat though the affects of being stepped on by an elephant can give a similar appearance.) This figure was heard to uttered in a gravely voice "Strong in this one the force is". What the hell is this force stuff and has the pig got some and were did the green guy come from?
I feel it's all tied up with that nuclear power plant and the Enterprise as it seems to keep coming back, maybe it is tethered to this rock.
If an elephant steps on a cat do you get cat pâté? (Food again, I'd much rather mangos.)
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
August 26th
There's been a conversion of paths, a crossing of ways, a flattening of cat. Needles to say elephant one, cat zero.
You may remember I mentioned the cat that hangs around here yesterday, well as you may have guessed by the previous inscriptions cat +elephant = more than butter in-between elephants toes. The poor cat has had a hard life and it’s a pity the owner doesn’t take the poor thing home and look after it in its twilight years. The mill is no place for pets/feral cats. If this is a mill cat as some have alluded to how come there's no line in the budget that states cat food. Maybe the cat is tethered to the mill with some invisible force much like we are all bound to this third rock from the sun this place we call home. That is unless your part of the crew of the Enterprise then your not bound by anything but maybe petrol, what does the Enterprise run on anyway?
Maybe the cat is part of the secret service mentioned back on the August 15th I mean if the elephant is air force one the cat could be an agent, he hangs out with the right people.
The force also helped me dry a bit of sawdust and run some CCA charges. Maybe the Enterprise runs on this mystical force. We will have to investigate this force stuff in greater detail at a date yet to be fixed. Tomorrow.
You may remember I mentioned the cat that hangs around here yesterday, well as you may have guessed by the previous inscriptions cat +elephant = more than butter in-between elephants toes. The poor cat has had a hard life and it’s a pity the owner doesn’t take the poor thing home and look after it in its twilight years. The mill is no place for pets/feral cats. If this is a mill cat as some have alluded to how come there's no line in the budget that states cat food. Maybe the cat is tethered to the mill with some invisible force much like we are all bound to this third rock from the sun this place we call home. That is unless your part of the crew of the Enterprise then your not bound by anything but maybe petrol, what does the Enterprise run on anyway?
Maybe the cat is part of the secret service mentioned back on the August 15th I mean if the elephant is air force one the cat could be an agent, he hangs out with the right people.
The force also helped me dry a bit of sawdust and run some CCA charges. Maybe the Enterprise runs on this mystical force. We will have to investigate this force stuff in greater detail at a date yet to be fixed. Tomorrow.
August 25th
Oh Christmas tree oh Christmas tree how …… oh bugger, I can't remember the next line. I know it's a bit early but the swallows can't be wrong, especially the African swallow. Now if they were European swallows it would be a different story, as we all know their timing can't be relied upon and I can't speak Europeanish swallow anyway.
By all accounts it seems the festive season is almost upon us (if you believe the swallows that is). Spring is in the air and elephant and giraffe are just hanging around looking content, who knows Mr Henky the Christmas poo might even put in an appearance. Mind you I hope the elephant doesn’t have anything to do with Mr Henky other wise we might have a Henky and a half, wouldn't that put the towns water work's under considerable strain. It’s a bit like the economic strain felt by Rodger, Rodger the shrubbier in the days of old when arranging shrubberies was a grand and noble profession and ruffians roamed the streets beating up old ladies that were taking their frustration out on cats. (The cat around here better keep a low profile.)
Well the fog has just moved in so I best use this opportunity to melt away into the shadowy darkness to await the birth of a new day.
By all accounts it seems the festive season is almost upon us (if you believe the swallows that is). Spring is in the air and elephant and giraffe are just hanging around looking content, who knows Mr Henky the Christmas poo might even put in an appearance. Mind you I hope the elephant doesn’t have anything to do with Mr Henky other wise we might have a Henky and a half, wouldn't that put the towns water work's under considerable strain. It’s a bit like the economic strain felt by Rodger, Rodger the shrubbier in the days of old when arranging shrubberies was a grand and noble profession and ruffians roamed the streets beating up old ladies that were taking their frustration out on cats. (The cat around here better keep a low profile.)
Well the fog has just moved in so I best use this opportunity to melt away into the shadowy darkness to await the birth of a new day.
August 24th
It's a dark, dark night, the stockings are hung by the chimney with care, op's wrong time of year, well it could be early seen as the swallows have returned from their winter slumber ahead of schedule, carrying a couple of coconuts gripped by the husk. I wonder if the elephant has returned permanently from his migration and whether he brought his mate the giraffe back.
While were asking questions, what happened to spider pig after his window seal betrayal? I need answers, why are there spiders on the well? And while I've lost all threads of any story line you know peeled mango sprinkled with lime juice, chilly powder and salt is a Mexican street food and is quite delectable to the taste buds,(food again, I wounder if the shrink can help me with this problem while he's sorting out my other issue's.)
Meanwhile back at the ranch the elephant and giraffe have just made an appearance. The butter seems to have disappeared and the giraffe has a grin from ear to backwards ear. Must just have a happy disposition.
Managed to clean out boiler and increase the rate of pyrolyzation within the for mentioned boiler.
While were asking questions, what happened to spider pig after his window seal betrayal? I need answers, why are there spiders on the well? And while I've lost all threads of any story line you know peeled mango sprinkled with lime juice, chilly powder and salt is a Mexican street food and is quite delectable to the taste buds,(food again, I wounder if the shrink can help me with this problem while he's sorting out my other issue's.)
Meanwhile back at the ranch the elephant and giraffe have just made an appearance. The butter seems to have disappeared and the giraffe has a grin from ear to backwards ear. Must just have a happy disposition.
Managed to clean out boiler and increase the rate of pyrolyzation within the for mentioned boiler.
August 21st
SHHH!! We need to be quiet. The elephant is still creeping around and the hated jeery's can't be faraway, they never are not to mention the Clingon's.
AHHHH! The spider's on the wall get them off, get them off.
Thank god the M&M's are here tomorrow I don't know how much more I can take. Now I'm back on food again. Bugger.
You know we all need to slow down, think of the past, wasn't it simpler when the elephant just cruised around in his big red truck with his mate the giraffe. He did try and sell the truck but the responses were a bit like when they tried to sell Bonny Doon. It was a reasonable asking price and all they got on the answering machine was "tell him he's dreaming" how unreasonable.
I need to go now, but before I go I need to know what happened to the butter (food again) on the elephants feet? Did the giraffe lick it off? If so are elephants ticklish on the bottom of their feet or am I just kinky and one sick puppy with under lying problems that needs to see a shrink?
AHHHH! The spider's on the wall get them off, get them off.
Thank god the M&M's are here tomorrow I don't know how much more I can take. Now I'm back on food again. Bugger.
You know we all need to slow down, think of the past, wasn't it simpler when the elephant just cruised around in his big red truck with his mate the giraffe. He did try and sell the truck but the responses were a bit like when they tried to sell Bonny Doon. It was a reasonable asking price and all they got on the answering machine was "tell him he's dreaming" how unreasonable.
I need to go now, but before I go I need to know what happened to the butter (food again) on the elephants feet? Did the giraffe lick it off? If so are elephants ticklish on the bottom of their feet or am I just kinky and one sick puppy with under lying problems that needs to see a shrink?
August 20th
Well I'm back, as you may have noticed I've been away for a couple of days in Adelaide learning to toast wood, fingers and the odd leg. Next lesson, giraffe kebab and elephant on a spit, may need a big apple. Hopefully the wood toasting lessons will help in our endeavours of dry roasting sawdust and anything else we can get our hands on. I wounder if it tastes like roasted chest nuts?
I don’t know about you but there seems to be a theme building up here all I need to throw in now is some cous cous and curry, then I can have spit roast elephant with a side of curry cous cous and a sprinkling of nuts. I might even have custard for desert that is if it's thickened up yet.
You know my mom told me life is like a box of chocolates, you never now what you're going to get, well mom would have if forests mom didn’t think of it first.
Now I'm getting hungry and the elephant is back looking for something to eat, he's so close to spit roast. I better call in the swallows (mmm swallow pie) for reinforcements using my new pink mobile phone I just got a few days ago.
We've also hade some issues with water here today as well as problems with thermal conductivity and pyrolyzation.
I don’t know about you but there seems to be a theme building up here all I need to throw in now is some cous cous and curry, then I can have spit roast elephant with a side of curry cous cous and a sprinkling of nuts. I might even have custard for desert that is if it's thickened up yet.
You know my mom told me life is like a box of chocolates, you never now what you're going to get, well mom would have if forests mom didn’t think of it first.
Now I'm getting hungry and the elephant is back looking for something to eat, he's so close to spit roast. I better call in the swallows (mmm swallow pie) for reinforcements using my new pink mobile phone I just got a few days ago.
We've also hade some issues with water here today as well as problems with thermal conductivity and pyrolyzation.
August 17th
Hello, it's another sunny day with intermittent drizzle and the odd swallow (unladend of course) flying around. The elephant AKA air force one and his mate the giraffe, the president possibly have not returned from their winter migration, not that I've seen anyway. Further investigation is required though as the toilet here at the boiler blocked up about 4pm yesterday and one wounders if the giraffe has been over inquisitive again (remember the stack episode). To add insult to the blocked loo and the curry now kicking in the scrubber system seems to have lost its suck and we may need the assistance of the elephant to aid in the suction for the time been to try and get a bit more out of the boiler.
We had a heap of wood to hand feed the boiler yesterday but all the wood is gone, but why is the wood gone? Maybe the elephant and giraffe are back and their on a high fibre diet. Oh no the elephant has just poked his head around the corner, here he comes and he's eyeing me head of with ravenous eyes. What's he want? Is he trying to tell me something? Quick get out of here I'm being chased be a hungry elephant that eats wood.
So the moral to this story is the toilets blocked and needs pumping out. The scrubber is not scrubbing and I've gone back to the stack and batty at about 7pm, you know sallows are migratory and stay away from curry.
I also call the appropriate person to hasten the approach of the loo suck facilitator.
We had a heap of wood to hand feed the boiler yesterday but all the wood is gone, but why is the wood gone? Maybe the elephant and giraffe are back and their on a high fibre diet. Oh no the elephant has just poked his head around the corner, here he comes and he's eyeing me head of with ravenous eyes. What's he want? Is he trying to tell me something? Quick get out of here I'm being chased be a hungry elephant that eats wood.
So the moral to this story is the toilets blocked and needs pumping out. The scrubber is not scrubbing and I've gone back to the stack and batty at about 7pm, you know sallows are migratory and stay away from curry.
I also call the appropriate person to hasten the approach of the loo suck facilitator.
Monday, August 27, 2007
August 16th
There's a new mystery that has unfurled itself like a big white fluffy main sail on the Mayfair bound for the new world.
Nothing to do with custard or cous cous.
The elephant seems to have migrated to the treatment plant and he may have taken his friend the giraffe. How he got there I don’t know as I didn’t think elephants were migratory and how would he fly anyway, was he African or an Indian elephant. Perhaps he's related to dumbo. But hang on a minute aren’t you suppose to fly south for the winter, the treatment plant is north of here and its blowing out of the north therefore the elephant has got a head wind. I wounder if he's got an African or European swallow as a flying companion and whether they were unladend as the elephant must have been carrying the giraffe because we all know giraffes cant fly.
There are a lot of questions that need answering, not to mention who's the secret service agent and is the giraffe the president and if so does that make the elephant air force one.
Who knows, these questions are stickier than that custard and more deep and meaningful than cous cous. I bet your all pleased that this so relevant and not just a load of incoherent and unimaginably boring stuff that other people tend to write.
Also done one pack of fillets and moved some decking in for boiler fuel.
Nothing to do with custard or cous cous.
The elephant seems to have migrated to the treatment plant and he may have taken his friend the giraffe. How he got there I don’t know as I didn’t think elephants were migratory and how would he fly anyway, was he African or an Indian elephant. Perhaps he's related to dumbo. But hang on a minute aren’t you suppose to fly south for the winter, the treatment plant is north of here and its blowing out of the north therefore the elephant has got a head wind. I wounder if he's got an African or European swallow as a flying companion and whether they were unladend as the elephant must have been carrying the giraffe because we all know giraffes cant fly.
There are a lot of questions that need answering, not to mention who's the secret service agent and is the giraffe the president and if so does that make the elephant air force one.
Who knows, these questions are stickier than that custard and more deep and meaningful than cous cous. I bet your all pleased that this so relevant and not just a load of incoherent and unimaginably boring stuff that other people tend to write.
Also done one pack of fillets and moved some decking in for boiler fuel.
August 15th
Well were back again. The elephant has spilled his guts (what a mess.) The crew of the Enterprise dropped him of before he dropped them in it with another mess.
Now I don't know how to say this but the elephant thinks there's an impostor in our midst. A secret service agent, protecting the president. What disguise he has taken (the president.) I don’t know, but he could be the giraffe, we may be getting close to blowing his or her cover. The signs are as follows; they don’t talk with you, they barely even acknowledge that you exist and you will never see them smile, trust me I have tried.
(now be honest havent we all got a secret service agent at home.)
On that deep and meaningful question I will leave you all for now to ponder who is the president, is it the giraffe and anyway who is the secret service agent and as the plot thickens like custard thickens on a cold winters night, (well its day and not to cold well for winter anyway, not that it would change the thickening rate of custard.)
I will bid you all a good night, well day but it could be night somewhere in the world.
I also cleaned out the diverter flap, done some fillets and went down to the treatment plant to run it about 12sh.
Now I don't know how to say this but the elephant thinks there's an impostor in our midst. A secret service agent, protecting the president. What disguise he has taken (the president.) I don’t know, but he could be the giraffe, we may be getting close to blowing his or her cover. The signs are as follows; they don’t talk with you, they barely even acknowledge that you exist and you will never see them smile, trust me I have tried.
(now be honest havent we all got a secret service agent at home.)
On that deep and meaningful question I will leave you all for now to ponder who is the president, is it the giraffe and anyway who is the secret service agent and as the plot thickens like custard thickens on a cold winters night, (well its day and not to cold well for winter anyway, not that it would change the thickening rate of custard.)
I will bid you all a good night, well day but it could be night somewhere in the world.
I also cleaned out the diverter flap, done some fillets and went down to the treatment plant to run it about 12sh.
August 12th
It's Sunday evening and all is fine. I bet you are all sitting on the edge of your seats waiting for the elephant to reveal his mind boggling theory of the universe according to Luke chapter 4, verses 5to23..
Well we've run into a few hiccups and every thing is now just a big cock-up. As you may well remember I am still stuck up a stack (August 10th) and there's no room up here for the elephant as well as that these dam stairs are too small for him to ascend. Who ever designed them obviously didn’t have the elephant's stature in mind not to mention his comfort and the fact his feet are slippery due to the butter well we won't go there.
Before the elephant can ascend the stairs to talk to me and reveal all, he has to get off the Enterprise, how I don't know as the same person who designed the stairs obviously designed the transporter and the elephant can only get his trunk in. If the elephant can get to a window we could try sign language but bugger me remember no hands therefore useless. (Curse this no hand world August 6th.)
Any way back to the revelation, what could it be? Speculating it could be some kind of explanation about cous cous, or then again it could be about 64 which should be 42 and what's that got to do with anything. It could have something to do with postal workers or how did butter even get into the story line. Well we'll just have to wait and see if we can set up some lines of communication between us and the elephant.
Well we've run into a few hiccups and every thing is now just a big cock-up. As you may well remember I am still stuck up a stack (August 10th) and there's no room up here for the elephant as well as that these dam stairs are too small for him to ascend. Who ever designed them obviously didn’t have the elephant's stature in mind not to mention his comfort and the fact his feet are slippery due to the butter well we won't go there.
Before the elephant can ascend the stairs to talk to me and reveal all, he has to get off the Enterprise, how I don't know as the same person who designed the stairs obviously designed the transporter and the elephant can only get his trunk in. If the elephant can get to a window we could try sign language but bugger me remember no hands therefore useless. (Curse this no hand world August 6th.)
Any way back to the revelation, what could it be? Speculating it could be some kind of explanation about cous cous, or then again it could be about 64 which should be 42 and what's that got to do with anything. It could have something to do with postal workers or how did butter even get into the story line. Well we'll just have to wait and see if we can set up some lines of communication between us and the elephant.
August 8th
It seems that my literary license has been suspended, which I find most disagreeable such as a hot curry the morning after. But I do like my curry's. I have been instructed to use the diary not as a method of putting a smile on peoples faces including mine. As I can ill afford another written warning relating to directives (not really but I'm not in the business of making life hard or uncomfortable for people.) I have little course of action but to comply. This may be a good thing as the giraffe and elephant will have to go Hi Tec, I just don't know how they are going to get on with out hands.
I fell I've just been run over by a big red truck, elephant should learn to drive and use a shovel.
Now for tonight's boiler report.
One ring to rule them all,
One ring to find them,
One ring to bring all and in the darkness bind them,
In the land of Kalangadoo were the shadows lie.
Will the giraffe manage to destroy the one ring of power by flinging it into the fiery depths of the boiler which is not so fiery at this present time. I'd go as far as saying it is stone cold, jees I've known hot water bottles that make more steam than this boiler. Any way how can the giraffe carry the ring on the account he has no hands, it's not like he can slip it on his finger or anything. He's got no dorsal wings or vines to utilize such as swallows. He could put it on a chain and hang it around his neck like Mr Baggins but then how would you get so high to put it over his head and that still leaves the problem of no hands, therefore no fingers. How is he supposed to wield the ring of power with out fingers, he could never put it on and become invisible what good is it. By the way I've picked up some dirt and sawdust and made a bit of steam.
If none of this makes sense join the club or check out previous diary entries.
I fell I've just been run over by a big red truck, elephant should learn to drive and use a shovel.
Now for tonight's boiler report.
One ring to rule them all,
One ring to find them,
One ring to bring all and in the darkness bind them,
In the land of Kalangadoo were the shadows lie.
Will the giraffe manage to destroy the one ring of power by flinging it into the fiery depths of the boiler which is not so fiery at this present time. I'd go as far as saying it is stone cold, jees I've known hot water bottles that make more steam than this boiler. Any way how can the giraffe carry the ring on the account he has no hands, it's not like he can slip it on his finger or anything. He's got no dorsal wings or vines to utilize such as swallows. He could put it on a chain and hang it around his neck like Mr Baggins but then how would you get so high to put it over his head and that still leaves the problem of no hands, therefore no fingers. How is he supposed to wield the ring of power with out fingers, he could never put it on and become invisible what good is it. By the way I've picked up some dirt and sawdust and made a bit of steam.
If none of this makes sense join the club or check out previous diary entries.
Sunday, August 26, 2007
August 11th
Its Saturday arvo 2020+2 (that’s day's not year's well I hope it's not year's, it feel's like year's, but it's not I hope.) Well its Saturday arvo, sh_t I've already said that, it feels like I've been here for hours well at least from 10am covering the secret service.
There's been a development, due to Dr Mc Coy's short sightedness on the account of his age (he's been around for a while tracking across the universe.) the giraffe's ear has been reattached backwards. This can be seen as a disaster (as some around here would view this slight error) or to the majority of us this is seen as a positive as now the giraffe can hear behind him as well as what's in front of him. Wouldn't that be cool?
Just had cous cous for tea. Who invented this cr_p, what is it any way. It looks like something that comes out if a tree once the borers have moved in.
The elephant is becoming some what agitated as it seems his mate the giraffe is getting all the attention, he may stampede through the butter.
All these interesting facts pale into insignificance such as a grain of sand on a foreign shore is dwarfed by the immense beauty of our very own sun. The startling revelations the elephant has stumbled upon, well more like slipped as his feet are covered in butter are out standing, shocking and totally incomprehensible and may very well unravel the very fabric of time the universe and everything. (64) Darn!
Running out of time, paper and pen, you know there's apparently a shortage.
So stay tuned for the ground breaking news from the elephant.
There's been a development, due to Dr Mc Coy's short sightedness on the account of his age (he's been around for a while tracking across the universe.) the giraffe's ear has been reattached backwards. This can be seen as a disaster (as some around here would view this slight error) or to the majority of us this is seen as a positive as now the giraffe can hear behind him as well as what's in front of him. Wouldn't that be cool?
Just had cous cous for tea. Who invented this cr_p, what is it any way. It looks like something that comes out if a tree once the borers have moved in.
The elephant is becoming some what agitated as it seems his mate the giraffe is getting all the attention, he may stampede through the butter.
All these interesting facts pale into insignificance such as a grain of sand on a foreign shore is dwarfed by the immense beauty of our very own sun. The startling revelations the elephant has stumbled upon, well more like slipped as his feet are covered in butter are out standing, shocking and totally incomprehensible and may very well unravel the very fabric of time the universe and everything. (64) Darn!
Running out of time, paper and pen, you know there's apparently a shortage.
So stay tuned for the ground breaking news from the elephant.
Boiler report 10th
Went to clean the diverter flap (flappy thing out the back) and bugger me if it wasn’t jammed open. After closer inspection I managed to find the offending obstruction, it was the giraffe's ear, a little worst for wear but still recognisable. (Maybe the giraffe tried to get through when he had that terrible incident with the stack- see August 6th, 7th&9th.)
Quick call Dr Mc Coy, Scotty we need full power, "no no captain I can not give er any more"(said in a thick Scottish accent)
What are we to do the Clingons are on the starboard bow and closing. The giraffe is deliriously happy at the surprise appearance of his lost appendage and the elephant still has no hands. Bugger! Oh No I've got writers block, I'm lost for words, bugger again, quick beam me up Scotty, Zap! Wow look I'm on the stack; cool you can see all Kalangadoo from up here.
Epilogue,
Date 2020+1
Also done some stuff around the boiler and made some steam.
Went to clean the diverter flap (flappy thing out the back) and bugger me if it wasn’t jammed open. After closer inspection I managed to find the offending obstruction, it was the giraffe's ear, a little worst for wear but still recognisable. (Maybe the giraffe tried to get through when he had that terrible incident with the stack- see August 6th, 7th&9th.)
Quick call Dr Mc Coy, Scotty we need full power, "no no captain I can not give er any more"(said in a thick Scottish accent)
What are we to do the Clingons are on the starboard bow and closing. The giraffe is deliriously happy at the surprise appearance of his lost appendage and the elephant still has no hands. Bugger! Oh No I've got writers block, I'm lost for words, bugger again, quick beam me up Scotty, Zap! Wow look I'm on the stack; cool you can see all Kalangadoo from up here.
Epilogue,
Date 2020+1
Also done some stuff around the boiler and made some steam.
August 9th
Tonight's boiler report.
Captain's log star date 2020,
We've been travelling through space for a few weeks now, first on day then on nights, making steam, sometimes lot's others not so lot's. Darn we even picked up a couple of hitch hikers a crazy one eared giraffe and his fat friend the elephant. Both have no hands and are therefore useless, but I might get a couple of bucks for the deformed giraffe on one of those small obscure moons that go for that sort of thing.
Most of the crew are managing to maintain their sense of humour but as always there are some that are making heavy of the situation. For ch_ _ _ sake were in a tin can surrounded by stars that look like sawdust blown around on the north wind of a mid summers night. Darn some got in my eye, it is sawdust, and it's not summer. Where's that darn elephant when you need him.
Darn might not be strong enough word to express the gravity of the current chain of events but we are bound be earthly constraints and the company computer system. Darn!
I also started a couple of kilns, picked up dirt, made steam, might get a steamer started and washed out flappy thing out the back.
Captain's log star date 2020,
We've been travelling through space for a few weeks now, first on day then on nights, making steam, sometimes lot's others not so lot's. Darn we even picked up a couple of hitch hikers a crazy one eared giraffe and his fat friend the elephant. Both have no hands and are therefore useless, but I might get a couple of bucks for the deformed giraffe on one of those small obscure moons that go for that sort of thing.
Most of the crew are managing to maintain their sense of humour but as always there are some that are making heavy of the situation. For ch_ _ _ sake were in a tin can surrounded by stars that look like sawdust blown around on the north wind of a mid summers night. Darn some got in my eye, it is sawdust, and it's not summer. Where's that darn elephant when you need him.
Darn might not be strong enough word to express the gravity of the current chain of events but we are bound be earthly constraints and the company computer system. Darn!
I also started a couple of kilns, picked up dirt, made steam, might get a steamer started and washed out flappy thing out the back.
Saturday, August 25, 2007
August 7th
There's been a development. The giraffe is free, but has lost an ear. I don't know if he chewed it off or if the elephant was just to rough on the account he has no hands (once again W.G.L. don't panic as an incident report has been done and first aid administered.) Now that the blockage has been extracted from the stack hopefully we might get a bit of pressure. I scraped the fire bar's down once or twice looking for the giraffes ear with little success. I also shovelled sawdust from around the hopper, it's just like cleaning up after an elephant, may as well be working in a circus. Look at that the elephant has left the shovel on the wrong side of the pole. He's obviously not a circus elephant as he can't be trained.
August 6th
OH NO! I'm losing pressure in the boile, there seems to be a blockage. Well bugger me wouldn't you know it the giraffe has gone and got his head stuck in the stack. His mate the elephant is trying to pull him out but it's so hard with out hands, curse this no hand world.(make note W.G.L. correct P.P.E. is being worn but the elephant has torn his vest, may have to lose some weight.) We also helped Mat driving fork and picked up some dirt, might be from the elephant. We need a bigger diary. How come day shift get's more lines anyway.
August 2nd
Well this is it the last night and all is quiet on the western front. Seen as the hated jerrys are tucked away in their bunkers I shall clean the boiler out. It's about 12ish and I shall start at the top and finish at the bottom. Not leaving any chamber unscrubbed. It seems the iron paw/pen is trying to be silenced and his literary licence suspended by the masses, well one or two at least. This is an outrage and the elephant in the big red truck will have something to say about this. He may even bring his friend the giraffe (his head hangs out the window.) I will need to make my next dispatch brief as the firing has started again.
Friday, August 24, 2007
August 1st
As the wild flower springs forth to life with the first kiss of summers warmth upon the rocky mountain slops and then withers and fades away with the icy touch of winter, so it is somethings never change. So now as my forefathers before me have done for many moons the boiler has been cleaned out about 12ish. Hay look its a big red truck and theres an elephant driving it. Well aint that strange seeing a big red truck in Kalangadoo.
July 31st
And now for something completely different I've just cleaned the fire out, again! It's 3:30am and all is fine in the world well almost and look the pressure WOW! I've nearly cracked 200kpa. You know something the nights are long & lonely in this place........... Big red truck!
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